The Great Sushi Wars

by TheRealMasterChef696969696969696969696969696969

October 11th 2020


All hail our Supreme Leader of Serum, SBF


Earlier in September, as the theatrics of the Sushi Swap PsyOps and vampire attack campaign were in full force, followed by Chef Nomi's dump and exit and the voter collusion scandal surrounding the multisig key holders, it was clear that Uniswap's moat of liquidity had been breeched and SBF and his Serum Slave farms had won the vampire attack battle for Uniswap's liquidity. In Sam's world, he is both the house and the player in his own casino, and he is playing to win. The only thing that's certain in Sam's casinos is that Sam will be making money- Sam doesn't farm shitcoins, Sam farms YOU. All hail the real king of making money (sorry Justin).

Degen Stimulus

Hayden and Uniswap fought back in full force by releasing the $UNI token and airdropping 400 UNI to every Uniswap user, instituting the real stimulus package, Degen UBI - a new PlayStation for every degen Uniswap trader, putting even Trump bucks to shame. Skip the middleman and inject that stimulus package straight back into DeFi, let the kids try their luck in the intellectual casinos. Early Uniswap LPs, especially V1 LPs, were generously rewarded, including the top recipient of the airdrop, Anal.eth, here to remind Sushi Swap heretics that he will pound ass in the name of Uniswap.

But Uniswap still doesn't have a moat beyond its liquidity and the feel good vibes surrounding the $UNI airdrop. As farming begins to move to other chains such as Solana, Tron, Binance chain and Polkadot, how will Uniswap and even Ethereum keep their position as the DeFi and farming center of crypto? How will crypto retain its open source and grassroots ethos in the age of commercial, centralized chains like Tron, Solana, and Binance? Is the ultimate fate of every humble farmer a life on the Serum Slave Farms or toiling away with the plebs (no fees!) in Justin's Pearl and Salmon farm labour camps?

πŸ’‹Kiss and Make UpπŸ’‹

While many Ethereans have a negative opinion about Dr. Gavin Wood and their personal feelings towards him limit their ability to asses Polkadot seriously, many Polkaheads see the future of Ethereum as being a glorified parachain in the Polkadot ecosystem. It's fair to say there is no love lost between the two networks. But which other network echoes the open source, grassroots ethos of Ethereum than Polkadot?


No one designs post modern hyper capitalist casinos like Gavin; Polkadot is an immaculately elegant cryptoverse. Above the actual tech of the relay chain lies an intricate, multi layered game consisting of kingdom makers, kingdom subjects and ecosystem global participants - a multiverse of casino kingdoms. Ethereum has become a global casino for degens but Ethereum holders don't own a piece of the house. Polkadot allows every DOT holder to own a piece of the house. Decentralize SBFism!


As we see farming starting to move into the Polkadot ecosystem and new EOS-esque networks like Solana and Tron gain prominence, it's time for Gavin's brilliantly baroque game design to truly shine. The world computer narrative is dead, long live the world casino narrative!

Digital Maki Rolls and the End of HistoryπŸ₯‚πŸ£

Is there no greater totem for late stage capitalistic mercenary degeneracy than the digital maki roll? Are the SushiSwap shenanigans the existential hill that DeFi is willing to die on?

I think that SushiSwap just exposed what was already evident to many β€” liquidity is king and if the liquidity providers have a choice, they'll go to where the best APY's are.

There are no moats with open source technology and crowd sourced open liquidity. Someone can clone Sushi Swap, create their own reward tokens and get 8-9 figures TVL in a matter of days. After the mega-forking of YFI and now SushiSwap, and tools like Degenerator that will allow you to make your own out-of-the-box copy/paste of the favorite ponzis of the day, the negative connotation and gaucherie surrounding hijacking liquidity and forking has ended. Now, if you have a problem with the direction of a project, the premine and/or distribution, just fork it and go your own way. In some way this is the accelerationist narrative for open source technology and open economy- in an open terrain, everything can be forked, all liquidity can be co-opted and is free to flow, there are no moats, only market participants. This is the open economy of which we all dreamed. Having big players like Sam dominating the ecosystems they participate in is just a reality we have to cope with.


In all reality, there is no such thing as a fair launch either; early participants either have more information with which to act upon or early opportunities to invest at low valuations. As a casino designer, who do you want to give an edge to? A curated list of early VCs, investors and early adopters (Uniswap), SBF (Sushiswap), or other fellow owners of the casino (Polkadot)?